Runner's Rag
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Massapequa Park, NY - Inventor Bill Cicio (Siseo) is seeking 100 female marathon runners to field test his new personal care product for women in the next New York City Marathon which will be held on November 3, 1996. The invention, called LaFemme, is a small, flushable, sanitary paper product which provides a woman the freedom to stand in front of and face a toilet with the same convenience a man has always had when using a public restroom.
"We are looking for women in all age brackets who may be interested in becoming pioneers when it comes to women's equality." says Bill Cicio, the product's developer. "Each year, hundreds of portable outhouses are set up for this prestigious race and it's about time that the women runners had a sanitary means of dealing with these wretched, disease culturing, cesspools with a seat which represent the ultimate public restroom challenge for women." When asked if his product might encourage some women runners to answer nature's call off of the Verrazano Narrows Bridge, located at the starting line, as a few of their male counterparts have been known to do, the inventor responded, "I obviously didn't have that type of equality in mind when I invented LaFemme and we certainly do not condone that type of behavior, but I do suspect that some new, unofficial records may be established during the course of this race in the women's division."
There were a total of 26,754 runners who participated in the 1995 NYC Marathon, of which 6,470 were female. The race attracted an estimated two million spectators along the route. Approximately 500 portable toilets were erected for participants and spectators. Women runners who are interested in testing the LaFemme product in the upcoming 1996 New York City Marathon should call 516/797-4097 to register.
LaFemme, which is a contoured, funnel-like device, is constructed from a single piece of paper that is packaged flat and squeezed open when used. When held in place, the device redirects a woman's urine stream forward into the toilet. Preliminary feedback has shown the product's appeal to span an entire generation - from children too small to be able to straddle public toilet seats, to senior citizens who constantly battle the pain of arthritis associated with sitting and standing.
LaFemme
P.O. Box 323
Old Bethpage, NY 11804
516/797-4097
"Diamonds used to be a girl's best friend, but now women have LaFemme!"
Ed. Note: This was received via the internet, catchy headline and all. Here's a chance for club members to make history. Condensed slightly. Patent # 5,408,703.
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